Back to the Doctor

Sunday we noticed that Caden's right eye was a little red, swollen, and watery. I checked with some of my mom friends and we concluded that it could be a clogged tear duct. They all recommended wiping it with a warm washcloth. Check. Monday his eye still looked the same, and the left one was looking yucky too. I decided to go ahead and call the doctor. I don't want to be a paranoid first time mom, but I am. Better safe than sorry I thought. The doctor wanted to see us, so Caden and I trucked ourselves over there this morning. The nurse practitioner that we saw determined that the eye goopies were not caused by an infection, but by a cold. His swollen sinuses were causing the tear ducts to back up. She recommended using saline drops in his nose to relieve the swelling. We followed directions, but found that the drops were releasing so much mucus that he was having a harder time breathing and it was causing a real mucusy (sp?) cough. The cough was really worrying us so much that we called the after hours care line at 3:00am Tues. morning (after many hours of crying!). They told us to go to the ER. We did not feel that was necessary - he wasn't showing signs of not getting enough air, it was just hard for him to breath and his cough was bad. Instead I took him back to the Dr. Tues. morning and the Dr. said he is fine - no fever, oxygen levels look good, he is just congested. She told us to quit using the saline drops. OK, sounds good.

Additionally, they found that he has a case of thrush (yeast infection in the mouth). This is very common in babies, and is probably due in part to the antibiotics he was on killing off the good bacteria too. So now, we have to swab his mouth 4 times a day for a week to ten days until the thrush is gone.

Jeremy and I are exhausted. We have been trying to sleep as much as we can, but it is hard. Monday night I laid on the floor of his room for hours just looking at him, making sure he was breathing. Last night was a little better. He slept on my chest for about 3 hours and then in his cradle for another 2.5. I know he is teeny-tiny and none of this is his fault, but it is hard to be patient when you have slept 3 hours out of the last 40. I was able to sleep for 5 in a row last night, so I'm a little more coherent today.

Now, comes the "mommy-guilt." Did I expose him to germs/people too early? I hate being cooped up in the house, and so I tried to take him somewhere everyday. Did I push too soon? Should I have noticed the thrush earlier? Jeremy did and I told him it was just milk on his tongue. Oops. For now we are hanging low and snuggling a lot. I'm actually getting better at sleeping while holding him. Last night I would doze off for 15-20 min. at a time before waking myself up with the fear of dropping him (keep in mind that I had him lying in the center of my chest while I was propped up in the center of the bed with pillows all around me).

We are almost to the 6 week age. My friends tell me that is a real turning point because they start smiling on purpose. Come on buddy, Mommy needs a good smile or else you might be an only child!